postulants

CFR Sister Postulants - 2007

	Katherine Cowan I consider this opportunity of sharing with you a bit of "my story" a tremendous blessing and honor. My name is KatherineCowan; I'm a native of Steubenville, Ohio and a gradate from FranciscanUniversity in Steubenville where I earned a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing (2004). Presently, I am a postulant for the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, which has been a deep desire in my heart since early in the year 2001. Perhaps you are wondering, "What took you so long to finally join the community this past September 206?" or "How did you know this community was for you?" or “Did you always want to be a sister??" These very questions I have asked myself, and with the help of God's grace, allow me to share briefly about how God has led me to the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. I grew up in an authentically Catholic home. My parents love God and the Catholic faith and they desired to share this faith with their three children (me, James, and Michelle). A "Catholic identity" was planted within me from my youth; I received the Sacraments, went to daily Mass before school often, prayed the rosary with my family many nights, and I had a visible presence of Religious Sisters, Brothers, and Priests around my neighborhood. To be honest, the first visit I ever made to a convent was with my best friend when we were merely ten years old. My friend's parents were lay Carmelites and perhaps they hoped an unofficial "come and see" weekend spent among a community of Carmelite Sisters would spark an interest within their daughter to be a sister. Well, my friend AnnaMarie is happily married now, but that weekend was not a wasted effort. I believe that God began to reveal to me my own heart's desire for Religious Life. As I rode in the back seat of my friend's station wagon back home to Steubenville my thoughts were recalling the joyfulness of the Sisters, their unique way of praying together (the Liturgy of the Hours) and the way they "worked" for the Church alongside each other. Life continued on... I felt inclined strongly towards Nursing as a profession after witnessing a homebirth assisted by a midwife, and I was given the opportunity to attend FranciscanUniversity after completing high school. During high school and university days I dated a few Catholic young men and there was definitely an interest within me to marry one or the other of them, but something in my heart was longing to more. I didn't really imagine myself with my own family, house, job... but naturally there was a longing in my heart to love and to be loved. While studying in Austria at FranciscanUniversity's European campus, I had the opportunity to travel throughout Europe. One weekend excursion brought me to Paris, France, the "City of Love," and I happened upon the magnificent Basilica of the Sacred Heart (SacreCoeur). Many people were praying before Our Eucharistic Lord, exposed for Adoration, and as I knelt before Jesus in the corner of my eye I caught the movement of a Religious Sister walking past me. I never met this Sister, but simply at the sight of her God spoke to my heart, "Would you live this life for me?" My heart and mind reiterated the question and a sense of peace, joy and true freedom filled me as my own hart's desire once again identified with the silent witness of this anonymous Bride of Christ. "Lord, show me your way; lead me on a level path" (Ps. 27:11) Although I was enthusiastic to join a Religious Community promptly, I was advised to finish nursing school and simply allow myself time to grow a bit more with the Lord. I had heard of the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal through my exposure to their brother community, the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. I thought, "If there are Sisters like the Franciscan Friars, I want to be one of them." I was initially attracted to the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal by their patched, gray habits, which exemplified to me Saint Francis' admonition to "preach the Gospel at all times and if necessary use words." A single visit to the CFR Sisters in the Bronx, with the intention of discerning my vocation, showed me that their commitment to Christ wasn't merely "habit deep"; Daily Mass, Eucharistic Adoration, a joyful and real community life, service to the poor... each of these I witnessed daily by the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, and my soul cried out "you have found your treasure buried in the field."

	Josie Callaghan At 19 I left home and went to university. I was blessed to have had a solid and stable home life, a family who loved me (I was the third of five girls and a boy!) and a mother who had passed on to me her Catholic faith. Thus I had the best tools to begin the next stage of life. At this point my friends, although non-Catholic, were like-minded in morality it was therefore easy to continue living my faith. As the years progressed I wanted more and more to fit with the "in-crowd." I looked to their admiration of Jesus' to calculate my self worth. I distanced myself from Jesus, which happened in stages. First, through the desire to be accepted by the secular group, then n understanding the teachings of the faith, particularly its teaching on morality - pro-life, women priests, contraception, etc; this then let to not supporting these teachings then finally to ridiculing them. At this point I had convinced myself I was still a good Catholic. I continued attending Sunday Mass, but I felt the Church was still living in the Dark Ages and did not understand the youth of today. As long as I did what I thought was right, all would be fine. Besides Jesus loves me and he would therefore accept all of this... but interiorly I knew this was wrong, I was falling apart. Jesus, in His mercy, reached into my life and abruptly pulled me out of the mess I had made of things. In 1995 I had a car accident that left me immobile. I was in hospital for just under three months and through a series of reconstructive surgeries and physiotherapy I had to learn to walk again. I had to return home and was surrounded by His love and mercy through the love and care of my family. I had been forcibly rescued from secular life, I had time to think, to reflect, His truth began to resonate in my heart and His love changed my heart. Each decision I now made brought me close to Him until I met Him face to face at a Youth 2000 retreat, He became present to me in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. A young woman from a lay community spoke about her life and my heart was opened to the idea of being wholly Jesus' through a consecrated vocation. I began working for Youth 2000 (Y2K), it gave me the opportunity to grow closer to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and in others. Whilst working here, and through my sister, I came into contact with the religious sisters and brothers of the Franciscans of the Renewal. I was attracted to them through their joy and love of the Lord, his Church and each other. When they spoke at retreats I felt my faith grow as it was nourished and formed. I knew they spoke from the heart, simply from their experience of prayer and living out the Gospel values. Through this my desire to spread the truth of the Gospel grew and also a desire to live a life wholly consecrated to God, o give Him an undivided heart. As the years progressed, during my time at Y2K, I felt God calling me on to deepen my relationship with Him... but I had my plans and struggled with God, and lost my peace. In the summer of 2005 my spiritual director said, "Why not join the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal," it was God speaking to my heart, instantly I felt the peace I had return and intensify. God had given me an invitation. He wanted my undivided heart, now I wanted to give it to Him. Since being here it is all, and much more that I have desired and prayed for. The Life with the sisters in community, in prayer and in the work of evangelization was something I have desired for many years. The work with the poor, something I had not previously thought of, has opened up a whole new and deeper dimension in my journey with Jesus. Through them I see, touch, serve and love Jesus. I have always joked with the sisters that like St.Therese, "I want it all." Well, Jesus is not outdone in generosity in this life. He has given me all!

	Katie Wallyn "May the Lord give you His peace!" My name is KatieWallyn and currently I am a postulant with the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. I was born in Chicago, IL and moved to Hutchinson, MN when I was nine years old. I come from a family of seven and I am the second oldest of five children. My family and I were the typical "Cradle Catholics" and grew up not really knowing or living the faith. Since I lived in a small town, I did not even know religious sisters/nuns and so, I didn't even know the word "vocation" existed. I grew up going to public schools, I went to private non-Catholic high schools and eventually I got caught up in what most teens get into... doing whatever adults tell them not to do! By the grace of God, my father began to do week-long mission trips (when I was twelve years old) to a small village in San Lucas, Toliman, Guatemala. I was privileged to be able to join my father and serve there three times. Each trip made a deep impression on me and I could not forget the poor I met there... the memories of their simplicity, their freedom, and their sincere love remained with me throughout my teenage years. After I graduated from high school, I was persuaded to go on a TEC (Together/Teens Encounter Christ) retreat, where I powerfully encountered the Holy Spirit. I realized that I was a selfish, blind and sinful teen in need of change... but at the same time I knew that God had known this all along and despite it all, He LOVED me and wanted to lead me to holiness in a new light. I transferred out to Franciscan University of Steubenville, OH in 2000 and pursued a degree in nursing. It was during my first year that I began to feel "the call." Questions about motherhood, marriage, missionary and religious life started to arise in my heart. I started to visit religious sisters around Steubenville (now that I finally met Sisters!), but my heart was still closed to hear all God wanted to say... I was too afraid! I just wanted to get the "discernment" over with so I could move on with my life. "God, what do You want? What is Your will for me? You know best, so, all that needs to happen is for You to tell me and then let's move on!" I'd say. The only reply I'd get to that was, "Katie, what do you want?" And so, this dialogue went on for a few years... but little did I know that Jesus was stripping me of my false perceptions of marriage, religious life and ultimately myself, so that I could come to know my heart of hearts. After four years of intensely struggling with the fear of being called to religious life... after almost being engaged and running to every other outlet to escape my inner restlessness... I finally gave up the fight. I was asked to join a friend to visit the CFR sisters and agreed to go only on the basis to see New York City after the retreat... But, during this three-day "Come & See," God outpoured His graces and revealed to my heart His Truth... He has been calling me to be His alone! He had created me with an undivided heart (1 Cor. 7:32-34)! I do know that I want... It's Jesus! And He wants nothing else but to give Himself to me! This is my path to holiness! ... This is my vocation. I felt a deep sense of being "at home" with the CFR Sisters and felt that through their humility, simplicity, and firm fixation on Christ, His Church, and doing the will of God, I was free to open my heart up and receive all that God had been stirring my heart for the past four years. And so with great peace, assurance, and joy I said "YES!" to the call. It is a mystery, but this is the work of God and of His Kingdom coming here on earth. I am His and am honored to be among "the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes." (Rev 14:4)

	Whitney Bouchard "God has a plan for your life." O how many times, not understanding how this could possibly be true I allowed these words to slip in one ear and out the other. Until as a teenager in a panic I said to myself, "Well, someone better have a plan, because I can't seen to figure it out!" That someone was in fact Jesus who as a teen I was just getting to know and love. As I slowly started to open my heart to Him, I realized that not only did He truly have a plan for my life, He had always been in my life and even though I was unaware of it as a child, He had made me long to know Him. For the first fourteen years of my life I was raised in Amarillo, Texas by my mother, along with my four other siblings. Through the "ups and downs" of those early years, we always tried to "stick" together and take care of each other. I learned much about perseverance and loving to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, we did not practice our Catholic faith and I was left with the awareness that there was a void in my life that needed to be filled. I tried to fill it with many different things that only left me feeling emptier and with a deeper longing than before. I eventually moved to Madawaska, Maine to live with my father and my grandmother and there was introduced to many new things, including the Catholic Faith and people who had a "personal relationship" with Jesus. In fact this relationship seemed to fuel their daily lives and allow them to love sincerely. I soon began to realize that this Jesus was who I had been longing for... only He could fill my empty and aching heart. As I entered more deeply into the love of Jesus communicated and manifested through the Sacraments of the Church and my family, much healing took place, which allowed me to have a secure foundation and environment to ask, "Okay God, if You do have a plan for my life... What is it?" By this time I had began to sense that I could fully trust God and that He was worth surrendering all for in order to seek His plan. I had a strong desire to love and serve children and teenagers and to be an instrument to show them God's love so I went to college at the University of Maine at FortKent for a degree in Education. Also at this time I was blessed to serve as a youth minister in our parish. Yet while I loved what I was doing and what I was studying, I still sensed that there was something more. I had always been inspired by the life of Blessed Mother Teresa and her deep love for Jesus in the poor but because I had never been exposed to Religious, I did not believe that a life like hers could be a reality. At a Youth 200 retreat, while in college, I eventually met the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal and the "strings of my heart were plucked" and I knew I had to find out what they were all about... even though I was afraid that if I spoke with them God would automatically make me a Sister and ship me off to the jungles of South America. Their deep love for Jesus in the Eucharist, their radical poverty and love for the poor and their genuine joy was contagious and attractive. I finally worked up the courage to speak with them and to visit them in the Bronx, but I had more questions for God and God had more life experiences for me before He allowed me to take a step. I finished college, continued to grow in my family life, and made beautiful friendships with wonderful Catholic young adults and even dated and considered the beautiful vocation of marriage. But through it all, by God's grace, I fell more and more in love with Jesus and His Blessed Mother and could never forget the joy and peace I had felt with the CFR Sisters. Joyfully, through prayer, spiritual direction, a few more visits with the Sisters, and with the loving blessing of my family and friends, I have now taken the next step in following God's perfect plan for my life. I am now learning more and more daily that Jesus is worth it all. He can always be trusted, and true peace and joy come only through following God's will.