"May We Run": Following Jesus in the Footsteps of St. Francis ~ Part Two: Francis and Christ, "May I Feel What You Felt"
“The following of Christ in all conditions of life, in thought and action, a practical, energetic, constant and persevering following of Jesus Christ until death, is the secret of St. Francis. In great things as well as small, in the hidden life of the soul as well as in exterior conduct, he sought to become life his Savior.” – Ideals of St. Francis, by Hilarin Felder
As bold as this may sound, I have been asking for the grace, during this Jubilee Year, to encounter the heart of St. Francis in a much deeper way. Who was he? What gave him life? What would it be like to truly know, in a relational way, the heart of this great saint? As I’ve prayed about this, own his desire before he received the stigmata has kept coming to mind. Francis spoke this prayer to the Lord:
“O my Lord Jesus Christ, I ask you to grant me two graces before I die; the first, that in my lifetime I may feel in my soul and in my body, so far as is possible all the pain and grief you, O sweet Lord, did feel in you most bitter passion. The second, that I may feel in my heart, as far as is possible, that excessive love by which you, the Son of God, were willingly impelled to endure such great sufferings for sinners.”
Perhaps this prayer reveals something of the deepest desires of the heart of St. Francis in his relationship with Christ. Francis longed to experience what the heart of Christ experienced “as far as is possible.” He sought to literally walk in the footsteps of Jesus; to experience within himself, “in this lifetime,” everything Christ experienced – the love, joy, suffering, freedom, poverty, weakness, power, security, faith, surrender, the humility of His birth in Bethlehem to the total gift of self on the cross– literally everything.
This fiery, devoted love fueled St. Francis’ knightly following of Christ. Like any knight, he yearned to love great things, give his life in service of great things, and to be great in love. As his own hand wrote in the Rule: “The rule and the life of the brothers is this: namely, to live in obedience, in chastity and without property, and to follow the steps of Our Lord Jesus Christ.” Why obedience, chastity and poverty? Simply because that is how Our Lord lived. Why did Francis minister to the lepers, the poor, spend days in solitude, nights in prayer, fast and spend himself in preaching the Gospel? Because that is exactly what Jesus did. The Incarnation has made it possible to physically encounter, imitate and live everything with Christ. What Our Lord did, St. Francis whole-heartedly desired to do… and not only simply to do, but to experience personally and internally.
I am no Franciscan scholar. Yet, I desire to be more and more a daughter of St. Francis. And as a very little daughter, I’ve found this experiential “key” to St. Francis’ relationship with Our Lord to be, at least to me, the key to encountering his heart. This key lights a fire within me. St. Francis fell in love with the Incarnation of the Lord. He fell in love with the fact by virtue of the reality of God having taken on our flesh; that then meant that he (Francis) could experience everything that God himself experienced. Like St. Paul, “the love of Christ impelled him.” This love of our Holy Father Francis sparks the same deep desire in my heart…and leads me to humbly ask for the same grace. (Which I would propose is a grace which is available to all of us this Jubilee Year!)
St. Franics, pray for us that we too would turn to Our Lord and pray,
“May I feel what you felt!”
Sr. Rosa, CFR
