Understanding Our Own Hearts

On July 31st the Church celebrates St. Ignatius of Loyola. He was a soldier living in 16^th-century Spain who experienced a dramatic conversion after being wounded in battle. As he lay recovering in bed, he was bored and asked for some books to read. Little did he know how God would speak to his heart through these books, as he read about the life of Christ and different saints throughout the ages who had decided to follow Him with their whole being. St. Ignatius realized that whenever he allowed his thoughts to rest on the things of God and the possibility of following Jesus more closely, he felt a deep and lasting peace. He eventually learned to contrast this with the dryness and disquiet he felt as he thought about worldly pursuits.

Soon, St. Ignatius made up his mind to leave behind his old life and seek God with everything he had. He knew that he had finally discovered the greatest treasure, God Himself! As he continued to grow in the spiritual life, God illumined his soul with a keen understanding of the interior movements of his heart and soul, and as he received more insight about these movements, he wrote them down. This was the immense gift that St. Ignatius gave to the Church, and these insights are often referred to as the “rules of the discernment of spirits.”

When I first heard of these “rules” in college, I misunderstood them to be something strange and overly focused on evil spirits, so I had no interest in looking into them. It wasn’t until I entered the convent and received classes on the discernment of spirits that I realized what a gift they were. I can truly say that learning what St. Ignatius had to say was life-changing for me! In particular, the books and talks by Fr. Timothy Gallagher helped break open St. Ignatius’ teaching in an understandable and beautiful way. I remember thinking, “I wish every Christian could learn these principles!” This teaching has helped me understand the bigger picture of both the spiritual life and my own soul. I learned that I have an enemy who is actively trying to confuse, agitate, and deceive me (the devil), and that more importantly, I have a God who is actively trying to help, strengthen, and increase my faith, hope, and love. And because of the gift of my free will, the choice is in my hands who I will listen to! And this choice makes all the difference.

I think most of us sort of wander around the spiritual life, unaware of the greater spiritual battle that is being waged for our souls. How often have we realized at the end of a long day that our minds have been filled with anxiety or agitation, and that this has been affecting our decisions? Or perhaps we’ve felt discouraged or heavy-hearted as we move through the day, and we’re not sure how to change this pattern. On a lighter note, maybe we’ve had days of quiet joy within our hearts but haven’t always turned to look back at God and thank Him.

Every day, there are countless thoughts and movements that occur within our minds and hearts; if we are unaware of them and their source, we are like fish being swept along in the current of life. However, through St. Ignatius’ wisdom that has been offered to us through the Church, we can learn to become aware of, understand, and respond to these

interior movements. We can become equipped to live our lives not as helpless victims, but as vigilant and free children of God. What a gift that is being offered to us!

Thank you, St. Ignatius of Loyola, for your deep listening to the Spirit of God. Please pray for us, that we too can develop discerning hearts, to hear His voice more clearly.

Sr. Therese, CFR