"Why Not Now?" - Reflection from Community Retreat

We are so blessed to have the opportunity every year to go on retreat together as a community. Those of us here in Europe were recently on retreat for a week in Formby which is just outside of Liverpool in England. There were so many beautiful aspects of the retreat, but one particular grace I received was through a little phrase that Fr. Rich, who was giving us our retreat, shared regarding St. Francis’ approach: “Why not now?” When St. Francis would see a church in the distance, he would prostrate himself and adore the Lord. When he heard the words of the Gospel, he immediately tried to live them. When he encountered beauty, creation, virtue, or anything that spoke to him of God’s goodness, he praised God with all his heart (and voice!). Those three little words, “Why not now?” remained at the forefront of my mind throughout the retreat.

            On our last day of retreat, instead of giving a final conference or talk, Fr. Rich suggested that we take a time of prayer together in the chapel to pray some of the prayers that St. Francis wrote, interspersed with some songs and time for us to share prayers aloud as well. It was a very special time of prayer for us. During this time, one sister shared an image of seeing St. Francis coming to pray with each of us. This was a special grace for me; immediately, I felt that St. Francis wanted to come and pray a prayer of blessing over me.

As I bowed my head, I was reminded of the fact that St. Francis was a deacon, and that led me to think about a permanent deacon, named Deacon Dan, who had been at my parish when I was a teenager. Deacon Dan was very loving and faith-filled, and I received a lot of graces through him. His love for God and the Church was obvious and compelling, and he shared it with gentleness, clarity, and joy. I really felt understood and known by him, and in these and so many other ways, he was such a clear reflection of God’s love for me. So, as I was on retreat, thinking about how St. Francis was a deacon, I remembered Deacon Dan and the reality that I have received so much of God’s love for me through him. As I prayed, I felt that St. Francis was telling me that he loves me with the same joyful, warm, affection as Deacon Dan. Could it be true that St. Francis is proud of me (as I am) and that he delights in me (in the present moment) and wants to bless me (as wholeheartedly as he praises the goodness of God)?

            As I wondered these things in the silence of my prayer, three simple words came to mind: “Why not now?”

-Sr. Kelly Francis, CFR