St. Joseph - Pillar of Families

In one of his writings entitled A Meditation on Givenness, St. John Paul II suggests that at some point in every man’s life, he should personally hear God speak to him the very same words that St. Joseph heard: “Do not be afraid to take Mary to yourself (Matthew 1:20).”  St. John Paul II goes on to say, “Do not be afraid to take means do everything to recognize that gift she is for you.”  Who is “she”?  Well, it’s our Lady as a mother, and it’s also the particular people that God has given to each of us in our vocations: a spouse, a child, or someone who has been entrusted to us in a particular way.  For me, God has given me the sisters in our community as a very big gift.  Maybe we could pause here to ask ourselves for a moment—Do I recognize that God is trying to give me a precious gift in Our Lady?  In my family?  It’s okay to need help with this, even St. Joseph did!  St. Joseph knew that Mary was a holy young woman and a special gift in their little hometown, but especially after he’d proposed to her, during their betrothal, St. Joseph needed God’s help to know that Mary was meant to be a gift for him personally.  He needed God’s help to know that he could stay with her, be close to her, and enjoy her.

            Imagine the state that St. Joseph must have been in before he heard those words from the angel.  .  Mary was pregnant and St. Joseph didn’t understand how.  He was probably feeling confused and stuck; there didn’t seem to be any good options for him going forward.  He knew Mary’s heart, and he knew that she was holy and pure, but he also felt unsettled.  What was he supposed to do about their marriage?  He was thinking of ending the path that he and Mary were going down together and making a permanent change.  I imagine him up late, thinking and praying and finally making up his mind to do something extremely painful the next day, to leave Mary.  “Joseph… planned to dismiss her quietly (Matthew 1:19).” 

            In that place of confusion and suffering, God spoke to Joseph through the angel, “But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream (Matthew 1:20).” Through the angel, God told Joseph not to be afraid to keep going and to take Mary as his wife, to “take her to himself.”  Sometimes, we too can feel confused and unsettled about situations in our families. Especially at the most vulnerable and challenging times, perhaps God wants to say to us like He said to St. Joseph, “Don’t be afraid to take your family to yourself.”  “Do everything you can to recognize the gift that they are… each person.”

  I imagine St. Joseph waking up that next morning, his confused and troubled heart now excited and even hopeful.  Maybe he went to Mary’s house straightaway and knocked on her door.  Each year in December, our sisters in Harlem help grade school children re-enact the Christmas story, and I always love this scene!  Sometimes St. Joseph wakes up in the morning, makes his bed, combs his hair, and says a little prayer before walking to Mary’s house.  Sometimes, he’s wringing his hands while he waits outside her front door, but as soon as she answers and they see each other, there is eagerness and joy.  St. Joseph communicates to Our Lady with his eyes and with his words, “It’s ok!  We can get married!”  They are relieved.  (I’m not sure if they hugged in real life, but God did give St. Joseph permission to take her to himself, so I’m guessing that allows for a hug!)  For the rest of his earthly life, St. Joseph received Mary and Jesus as a gift from God.  Surely, he enjoyed them, took good care of them, and let them know what a gift they were to him.

            St. John Paul II says, “Do everything you can to recognize that gift she is for you, to show her how unique a treasure she is… Perhaps God wills that it be you who is the one who tells her of her inestimable worth and special beauty.”  When I read that line, it made me ask myself if I really do that for other people.  I certainly could do it more.  I wrote a simple prayer for Lent this year asking for a little divine assistance in this area (included below).

            May St. Joseph, Pillar of Family Life, help us each to know that we are a gift.  May he help us to tell our families with our words and to show them with our actions that they are a precious gift.  May we “be the one” to initiate this; may we be the first one to reach out with gratitude.  God didn’t have to give me my sisters or you the particular people that you share life closely with, but in His kindness, He did.  Especially in difficult and confusing moments in relationships, we can take to heart His words in the gospel of Matthew, “Do not be afraid to take her to yourself.” 

-Sr. Josephine Marie, CFR

 

Prayer For the Grace of Charity in Family Life

Jesus, please help me to love (person’s name / my family) today! 

I ask for your grace

  to go towards them

  to be soft and not have any edge in my tone of voice or actions

  to be really honest

  to tell them what I’m grateful for

  to be the first one to do the right thing

  to make conversation

  to do what feels helpful to them (not just to myself)

  to notice what hurts them

  to apologize when I need to

  to not need to be right

  to not be defensive or prove myself

  to keep things light

  to believe things can change

  to be gentle with our human weaknesses

  to always keep trying

  to enjoy and cherish them

  to help them be holier