156 Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

I was shocked at the sight. He was walking down the sidewalk in my direction. He was wearing his normal clothes, walking with his typical stride and at his usual pace. That wasn’t the surprising part. It was the timing—June 27, the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I was standing outside Our Lady Queen of Angels Church which is attached to our convent here in Harlem. The man who was walking towards me is a poor man named Mark. 

We’ve known Mark for many years. He comes to our door faithfully each week on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday when we have our door ministry. His routine goes like this: He walks here from his apartment 15 blocks away and rings our doorbell. The sister who is signed up to be the “portress” answers the door, and in his deep, raspy, flat voice, Mark says, “PB&J with a light and sweet coffee.” Then the sister goes to the kitchen and makes the peanut butter and jelly sandwich and coffee. When she gives it to Mark, he responds, “Thanks,” and he leaves. This routine went on for months and months. I felt like I was working at a PB & J drive thru! Mark would “place his order”, pick up his sandwich and be on his way. I wasn’t bothered. Rather I was curious. I too, enjoy a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (especially made with my mom’s homemade strawberry jelly), but it’s hard to imagine walking 15 blocks three days a week to have one.

            Then over time, we started witnessing a change in Mark. With one peanut butter and jelly sandwich after the next, he was slowly opening up. His visits would last a bit longer as sisters spent time speaking with him and eventually, he even started to ask questions about our day. One day I even saw him smile for the first time and heard him laugh! Mark was opening up, but he never wanted to pray.

            Returning to June 27…I was shocked to see Mark that day because it was a Friday. We weren’t having our regular door ministry. That night we were having an event at the church called “Light the Fire” with Eucharistic Adoration, Confession, music and teams of sisters and volunteers going out into the neighborhood to invite people to come into the church and light a candle, say a prayer and stay as long as they’d like. There were no peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that night, and Mark knew it, but he came! I greeted him as he approached the church. He went inside and sat in the pew. There he was—Mark with Jesus. Jesus was present in the Blessed Sacrament on the altar in the monstrance. Jesus gazed upon Mark and His Sacred Heart was beating for him.

            In the Gospel, our Blessed Mother proclaims, “He has filled the hungry with good things.” (Luke 1:53) God knows the hunger of our bodies and the deeper hunger of our hearts and desires to fill us. For Mark, God fills him with three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches each week. In one year, that’s 156 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! But maybe Mark was coming for something else all along.

- Sr. Mae, CFR