A Gift to be Given

When I was 19 years old, I found myself on the threshold of making very important decisions that would affect all aspects of my life. One of them was letting the Lord lead a new journey of faith. I had started the “Life in the Spirit Seminar” with the Charismatic Renewal at my parish in Chicago. I was learning more about my faith, receiving solid catechesis, learning about adoration and going frequently to confession. However, I was also doing worldly things that did not correspond to my faith. During this time, I was surrounded by beautiful, faithful and simple people. They were very encouraging to me. I was one of the few young people who was very involved in my parish. The members of the Spanish charismatic group often invited me to retreats and conferences and picnics. They showed interest in me and made sure I was understanding the teachings. They even came to meet my family. As I continued with the different opportunities being offered, I started to notice a new hope in my life. I had really been struggling with the cultural transition for the previous three years since coming from Mexico at the age of sixteen. As a young immigrant I was facing the adjustment of a new school system, learning the language, making new friends and the natural ups and downs of being a teenager. I honestly felt inadequate and I lost my joy. On the other hand, this new community of people became a family to me. As I look back, God allowed me to experience the embrace of Holy Mother Church in a very powerful way. It did not change my life overnight, but slowly and steadily a new journey of faith had begun. This journey eventually led me to my religious vocation.

I entered our Community of Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal in 2008. I have lived in different convents, and I have had the joy of meeting many people along the way. Three years ago, I moved to Atlantic City.  This has been a unique assignment because we are surrounded with casinos and many people living in the deep darkness of addiction. The desire to bring God’s light into this darkness requires total dependence on His grace. Our main ministry in the city has always been the care for the poor and homeless. In the Fall of 2018, we started a youth ministry program.  We meet weekly with them on Thursday nights, and we now have a steady group of teenagers who come regularly every week. The majority of them are Hispanics. Some do not speak English, but they keep coming. We have a weekly rotation for the month: Adoration, Lectio Divina, Human Formation Talks and Gym Night.

I have been involved in this ministry since I arrived. I have been amazed to see young people who want to learn about God in the midst of such darkness. Every time I see them praying in adoration, I marvel at God’s unconditional love for His children. The first time we took them to a gym to play sports I could sense God’s pleasure and delight in seeing the teenagers playing together, making friends, laughing, and enjoying their time together. My heart was full. One time a priest asked me what was my favorite time with them and I said, “Tonight because we are crowning our Lady and offering flowers to her.” Now, I can say every night is my favorite night, whether we do adoration, gym night, or have a speaker give a talk. I love seeing them all so engaged during a talk, enjoying the time with their friends, discovering a new adventure when we travel to other retreats and growing in their relationship with Jesus.

            As I reflect on my time serving in this ministry, I have been moved to tears in sharing their joys and their sorrows. I have been both excited and nervous with them when they are trying something challenging, such as reading at a Mass in front of 2000 people during a Steubenville Conference. I also have felt inadequate, because I am not an experienced youth minister but a consecrated religious who is just serving in this ministry. In all of this, God has been at work in my heart. He has really stretched my heart in teaching me how to love them, how to be with them, how to listen to their concerns and heartaches. I feel as if God has been saying to me, “I do not need a qualified youth minister but a mother who can love my children.” It is true what our dear Fr. Andrew, CFR, used to tell us, “God does not choose those who are qualified, but he qualifies those he chooses.”

            The experience of receiving the embrace of the Church as a young adult changed my life in amazing ways forever! I now feel so privileged to walk with these young souls in their journey of faith, leaving the results to God. The gift I received has become a gift to be given in order to bringing more souls to God by allowing them to experience his loving embrace!

Sr. Guadalupe. CFR