Crowned

I was skipping in circles. I guess that’s what you do when you’re 4. Until, quite suddenly,

I was falling.

My little shoeless foot slipped, and I found myself tumbling toward a filing cabinet in the corner of my preschool classroom. In the aftermath of the collision, I was whisked to the nurse by my distressed teacher. Shortly following, my mom picked me up and brought me right to the doctor who put five, little stitches right in the middle of my forehead. Over 25 years later, that same spot has healed, and my forehead is crowned now with a thin scar, an artifact of fragility and that little moment of clumsiness.

On August 1^st, just a few weeks ago, I was crowned – really crowned! A band of delicate, white flowers was placed on my head, a sign of one of the biggest moments of my life that had taken place just a minute before: I made my first vows as a Franciscan Sister of the Renewal and became a bride of Christ, the King of heaven and earth. Jesus, undeterred by my weakness and the “scars” of my humanity, has called me to take this next, glorious step in the religious life and has consecrated me to live as His alone in poverty, chastity, and obedience. In the days leading up to vows, a simple truth that I never really pondered before pierced my heart: In choosing me to be His bride, Jesus chooses all of me, desiring everything. What a mystery! It could be easy to believe that He chooses my gifts, wanting only the good in me. But He, in His unconditional love, has known, called, and chosen my weakness and frailty and woundedness. Yes, He wants more – healing and freedom – for me, and He will bring it about. He’s promised and He’s faithful. And yet, He loves me totally now and claims me as His own now. The crown of roses I received on the day of my vows was a sign of virginal nobility, of being espoused to Christ the King, who reigns over the entirety of my being. And that crown completely surrounded a small, mostly hidden scar on my forehead, a little image to me that He has made my wounds His throne and, as my Spouse, He has made my wounds His own.

   But this truth isn’t just for me. If you are baptized, you’ve been consecrated, set apart, caught up into the very life of Jesus. Through this communion with Him, the Father has claimed you as His son or daughter – all of you. And, as I’m just beginning to experience in a new and deeper way myself, to be chosen like this – unconditionally, completely – changes everything. Love heals the beloved. When my mom came to get me from school that fateful day in preschool, she didn’t meet me with a rebuke or any sort of frustration because of the interruption I’d caused in her day. She just gathered me up and, right away, brought me to someone who could help. The wound did not bleed and ache forever. Little by little with loving care, it mended, and I can look in the mirror now and see the scar left behind as a remembrance of being loved, held, and provided for in my littleness and need.

            So too, Jesus comes to each one of us. He is all love, all mercy. And if we will take Him at His word and believe that His choice is true, we will, little by little, discover His life present in everything and that, down to the very core of our beings, this love is making all things new. We will be able to look to the cross and recognize that the thorns with which He is crowned are our own – He never would have worn them if He hadn’t chosen because of love to plunge headfirst into all the brambles in which we find ourselves caught – to unite Himself to the whole of us, to bring healing to every wound, light to every darkness, resurrection to every tomb. What cause for joy!

Maybe even some skipping.

Sr. Magdalene Marie, CFR