Enlighten the Darkness of My Heart

At the start of this Jubilee Year of St. Francis, we began praying St. Francis’ “Prayer Before the Crucifix” with the teenagers in our youth group at the start of our weekly meetings. Each week, we pause together to invite Jesus to come and be with us in whatever circumstance we each find ourselves in as we pray:

“O High and Glorious God,

enlighten the darkness of my heart

and give me true faith,

certain hope and perfect charity,

understanding and knowledge, Lord,

that I may carry out your holy and true command. Amen.”

This past week, I highlighted that St. Francis was gazing at Jesus on the cross as he prayed these words. He was aware that Jesus went to the cross for love of him. St. Paul wrote, “For the sake of the joy that lay before Him, [Jesus] endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). The joy before Jesus’ eyes was our salvation, our healing, our reconciliation with the Father, and eternal life with us. Awareness of Jesus’ love allowed St. Francis to invite God into the “darkness” of his own heart. When he saw Jesus upon the cross, he knew that if his Savior did not shy away from the cross or the tomb, He would not shy away from whatever ugliness, sin, confusion, doubt, fear, sadness, or sickness was in his own heart.

As we journey through Holy Week and the mysteries of Jesus’ Passion, Death and Resurrection, perhaps we might ask Him to enter into a suffering or dark area of our hearts and to bring new life and light there. In order to become aware of what is on our own hearts, silence is a great help. One of our youth group members told me this week that he likes silence, because it pushes away distractions. When I was growing up, my mom was very clear that on Good Friday between 12-3 p.m., when Jesus hung upon the cross, there would be no TV or games in the house. We could read the Bible, rest, or tidy our rooms. Our house was silent in an intentional way that only happened that one day a year. I remember that the silence did push away distractions. It allowed space for questions to arise in my heart and space for me to speak quietly to Jesus.

This week, in the midst of Easter preparations at home and beautiful liturgies in the Church, I encourage you to take moments of intentional silence in which you can turn your gaze to the crucifix and become aware of what is on your heart. Then, invite Jesus to come to you with His light, confident in the knowledge that it is His desire to be with you in the deepest place of your heart – it is the “joy that lay before Him.” I also invite you to make a good confession and to receive Jesus sacramentally in Holy Communion on Easter Sunday. With the grace of these Sacraments, you will share most fully in Jesus’ joy as you hear the words, “Your sins are forgiven, go in peace,” and welcome His True Presence in you.

Sr. Solanus, CFR